227 days and counting

Ryan and I met with a DJ today and I can officially say we have a DJ for the ceremony and reception. He was very nice, professional, and helpful. We were given a username and password to a section of his website where we can add songs to a list that we 100% want played, songs we do not want played, and all the particular songs for certain aspects of the wedding. I have been working on a little bit of that tonight. I am excited that we are starting to get more things done!

My bridal pictures are on the 8th and I am so excited!!! I wish I would be able to post them… but sadly those will have to wait until after the wedding. I have so much to do between now and then it is ridiculous. I have a hair appointment tomorrow at 1, a spray tan on Friday, caterer appointment on Monday, then hair and makeup on Tuesday, and pictures at 5:45 pm. This has seriously been a busy few weeks with phone conferences, meetings, and appointments dealing with this wedding.

I am very glad we are getting things done!! only 227 more days!!! 🙂


that which is loved is always beautiful

I’m not gonna lie… I have this long post in my drafts that I have been working on for days. But after the day I have had it warrants a different post.

Today has to be one of the worst days in our journey to the wedding. I am completely stressed out trying to juggle everything going on in my life and I find out today that someone who means so much to me is just not looking forward to our wedding at all. This really should not come as any surprise to me being as they haven’t done a lot with me. Don’t get me wrong… I love having Ryan help me and he has gone far and beyond what most fiancĂ©s will do. I just feel like this person is someone who is supposed to be supporting me and helping me make some of the decisions about this day and I am getting…. nothing. I let them know of appointments and things I have going on but it seems to me that they don’t really want anything to do with our wedding. All I ask for is time and a little emotion… it just feels to me that the only people excited about me getting married is me and Ryan. It gets depressing…

After today I am done asking for help, your time, or support… and I will no longer carry the burden of what you are missing out on. One day you will look back and regret the words and actions that have pushed me to this point. I would still love for find some excitement within yourself for one of the best days of my life, but I have given up on getting it. Sometimes no matter how bad you want something, you just can have it. Regardless of your attitude towards my marriage, our wedding, or this journey… it is still going to be the best day of my life and you are not going to rain on my parade.

My future husband has only shown me just how lucky I am to have him in my life. He is my rock when I am feeling down, depressed, or crying. I needed him today and he was right there and made sure that before he left for work I was smiling. I feel incredibly blessed and he deserves this little shoutout


Your wedding day is what most of us women dream about and plan from the time we are very young. My wedding is not the wedding I dreamed of years ago, before I had a concept on money. My wedding is now a direct reflection of me, Ryan, our relationship, and how I hope our marriage is going to be. I refuse to let anything or anyone hinder this day from being anything less than perfect.

Ladies and Gents… your wedding day is one day. You only have one time to get things right. Don’t compromise with anyone but yourself and your spouse; you two are the ones who can decide what aspects are the most important and what aspects you can live without. Be sure to shop around; you, your friends, your family, your future hubby can DIY the parts of your wedding that can be done by someone other than Martha Stewart. This will not only save you some money (if you play it right), but it will give you a chance to bond and share this experience with many people and possibly help pay for those things that would not have fit into your budget otherwise. Unless you are on a tight timeline… take your time. I looked at well over 15 venues before picking one. My patience allowed me to book a venue that looks very similar to one I LOVED but was far beyond my price range. At the end of the day you want to be happy and have very few regrets. Unless you have a vow renewal later in life and decide to make it a second wedding, not may people get a do-over on their wedding. Use all of your resources; ask friends, people you know that recently got married, look on wedding discussion boards… all of these things have helped me in one way or another.

My last word of advice… stay calm. I have not had to become a bridezilla, and it is mostly due to my wonderful man. Things will work out but being ugly or mean won’t get you anywhere. Stay calm, pray, and enjoy… these days will fly by and be gone before you know it.

Goodnight from North Carolina!

and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

today was the first day of our mini vacation. we are up in Indianapolis, Indiana visiting Ryan’s sister and brother in law. I haven’t been up here since September of last year because of school I was unable to come with Ryan the last time he came. We brought Georgia along for the ride too, she did really well given she’s never been on a long trip before. From our house to Amanda and Wes’ house was 10 and a half hours. That’s a very long trip for our little pup. I was worried because she did not pee the whole way up here or when we got here. She has since so I’m no longer such a worried Mom. She’s being a very good girl so far, I’m hoping she’ll be good all weekend.

Ever since Amanda (Ryan’s sister) moved up here Ryan has been talking about wanting to move up here too. It has always been our biggest fights. At first I was absolutely against moving up here and I am still not thrilled about it because Indiana isn’t my home and is not where any of my family are located. I have now realized that it might not be so bad; it isn’t what I want because I ultimately would like to live near the beach and below the Mason Dixon. I don’t think I would be completely unhappy here though, it’s near the city, which Ryan and I have talked about wanting to live. There is a lot of money to be made up here and it could possibly give Ryan and I a better life until we get more years of experience and education under our belts. I know Ryan doesn’t want to live here forever, and I think I could commit to a few years. We wouldn’t be up here alone, we would have family… but I would be a long long way from my parents and that would be so hard for me. I am the only child and I am super close to both of my parents, I would really hate them missing out on pivotal moments in mine and Ryan’s life. Ultimately, I think they would completely understand.

I want us to have a very comfortable life and to be able to provide everything and more for our children. I want to be able to give them the moon and the stars. Who knows, this might be it.

I love Ryan  and will do anything I need to do for our family and for us to have the life we want to live. I have learned that love really is not selfish, which is how I acted when Ryan first brought up moving so far way. I have to start loving more openly and not to always stick to how I feel that things should be. I need to learn to start accepting things for what they are and not what I feel they need to be.

Ryan and I will probably talk about this whole situation on our way home, but we both know we are not doing anything until after I graduate and after our wedding. So nothing will happen until next summer. Amanda says she will hire Ryan and that would be awesome if she could, she even said she would hire me until I could fine me something IT related, which would be pretty good. oh well, I’m going to for pizza and a movie. Goodnight!